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The Tao Of Self-Confidence

With Sheena Yap Chan

Published on: May 11, 2018

“I am loved, I am worthy, and I am enough,” has been Sheena Yap Chan’s mantra on her journey to self-confidence. Sheena Yap Chan is a blogger, podcaster, self-confidence consultant, author and speaker whose sole purpose, drive and passion is to help build women’s self-confidence from the ground up. She currently inspires women every day through her podcast called The Tao of Self Confidence where she interviews various women about their inner journey to self-confidence. Once you believe in yourself, then you have that confidence to do whatever it is you set your mind to.

What would you say and how would you behave if you knew that you made impact on your children or your grandchildren? Would you be more positive? Would you be kinder? Would you be more loving?

Sheena Yap Chan – The Tao Of Self-Confidence

Our next guest is fortunate to have her grandmother, her mom, and her sister, to be her role models. I’m talking about Sheena Yap Chan who is a blogger, podcaster, self-confidence consultant, author, and speaker whose sole purpose, drive, and passion is to help build women’s self-confidence from the ground up. She currently inspires women everyday through her podcast called The Tao of Self-Confidence where she interviews various women about their inner journey of self-confidence. Welcome, Sheena to Asian Women of Power podcast.

Thanks for having me.

You’re welcome. I’m happy to interview you. Sheena, share with us your story, where you are from and at what age you came to Canada, who or what has influenced you to become the person you are today. 

My name is Sheena Yap Chan. I was born in the Philippines and I moved to Canada when I was seven. I came back here when I was thirteen. I went back again when I was sixteen, so a little moving back and forth there. The people who’ve influenced me today is my family, my friends, the books that I’ve read, the people that I’ve looked up to. The women that I’ve interviewed actually have been really great group of people that I’ve looked up to just because of the things that they’ve gone through.

It seems like your past is all about communication and self-expression. Did that trait come from any member of your family? 

As a family we’re very vocal with how we feel and we do talk about stuff. If we’re happy, we’re happy. When we get mad, we do show our feelings but also learning to work on myself and learning to love myself and being authentic. I’m learning that I can be me and not care about what other people think has helped me learn to express myself, especially with a platform like podcasting where you can really share your voice and be who you are. It’s a great way to express yourself and just learning to love yourself helps as well.

Who was your role model growing up? 

I’m not sure if I had one role model. It’s more like little bits from each person. My grandmother is very resilient. My mother is very caring. My sisters are very generous. Little bits and pieces from people that are close to me and I’ve surrounded myself with. I take a little piece of each from them.

You look up to all powerful women, your grandmother, your sisters, your mom. That’s wonderful. Who is your role model now? 

Still the same.

Tao Of Self-Confidence: The more work you do, the more you can accept yourself and love yourself.

The same people, wonderful. 

Especially being here in the Philippines and listening to my grandma and some of the stories that she had especially going through as a child, what she’d been through. She’s been through so much and she’s still standing, still living her life. She tells me each day that tomorrow’s another new day, I just got to smile and be happy. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, we all get bad news, so we keep going and keep moving forward.

What are the disciplines you have learned to adapt to stay ahead in Canada? 

For me it’s just learning to be persistent and consistent. A lot of times when we try to do something and fail the first time, it’s the end of the world; we can’t get up and keep going. There’s that quote, “Fall down seven times, get back up eight times.” That’s something I’ve always brought with me just to be consistent and persistent. Everything I’ve done, I’ve always kept on doing it no matter what happens, no matter what people tell me, no matter if there are bad days. Especially when you’re on your own and you’re doing your own thing, there are a lot of problems that come up. Sometimes you feel like quitting but you have to deep down look inside and remember why you’re doing this, remember your purpose. Why are you doing what you’re doing? Is it to have a better life, to help out your family, to help make the world a better place? That’s another reason that helps me keep going.

How do you find peace and harmony in your life while growing your career? 

Learning to work on myself is huge. I do that everyday. When you’re doing things on your own, you’re always going to have moments of self-doubt and moments of not feeling worthy. You have to learn to switch that as fast as you can. It takes practice. Everything you do takes practice. You’re not always going to get it the first time, and that’s fine. When we all learn something, we don’t get it the first time, whether it’s riding a bike or jogging or whatever it is. I work on myself every single day. When I have moments of self-doubt, I tell myself three things, which is “I am loved, I am worthy, I am enough.”

I do things to clear my head, like working out. That’s my form of meditation. Everyone’s different. You have to find your way. For me, lying down, closing my eyes, and listening to meditation music doesn’t work for me. Running really helps me clear my head, it makes me realize people who love me and keep going. Even when I start to worry about things, I remind myself everything will be okay. The universe has your back and everything will fall into place.

You are so positive at your age. You’re about 30 something?

36.

You’re mature enough, more mature than most 36-year-old women I’ve met. Very good. Congratulations. 

Thank you.

What things have you done that you are proud of? 

For me, it’s really the podcast that I’ve created. I’m really proud of that because I didn’t even know where it was going to go when I first started. I decided to create something to help women out, especially helping Asian women out with their self-confidence and having that support system. When I first started, I was super scared. I was really doubtful of myself. I was really worried about what other people thought of me. Also having people around yourself that will lift you up or there for you to tell you that you can do it, if it fails, it fails. If it doesn’t, something great can happen out of it. That’s always been something that I’ve been proud of with the results, the feedback, women sending messages telling me how it’s really changed them and helped them with their own confidence, just being able to live life on my terms. Sometimes it’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

To live life on your term is always a big thing for me too. What will you not compromise or tolerate? 

People taking advantage of other people. We live in a world where we think our actions don’t have consequences, so when people are tempted to do something that’s greedy or that’s not a win-win situation, they don’t realize that there are consequences. We just don’t know when it’s going come out. We have to be mindful of what we do. That’s why it’s so important to do good work out there, create situations that are win-win situations that help us and others at the same time. If we don’t, we end up paying for those consequences. I’ve seen people who do things for greed, who have done such horrible things, and I’ve seen them suffer the consequences. Sometimes you never know what’s going to come up.

I always tell people you have to be super mindful of your actions. It may look good now, but it may not look good later on. You might have that success that you think is there, but is it really success or is it just you’re doing it for the greed or you’re doing it for wrong reasons? You have to dig down and think, “Is this something that will help me or hurt me, help others or hurt others?” It’s important that you put out good stuff out there.

Tao Of Self-Confidence: Once you believe in yourself, then you have that confidence to do whatever it is you set your mind to.

What does power mean to you? 

For me, power is just learning your self-worth, believing in yourself. Once you believe in yourself, then you have that confidence to do whatever it is you set your mind to. A lot of us as women, we always feel like we don’t have enough value. We’re not worthy enough. We don’t believe in our own abilities. After interviewing 500 women, I’ve noticed that most women believe in themselves or take that belief that they can go up there and do it, and then to take the next steps to do it. Belief is huge and taking action gives you that confidence to go out there and do what you want. That to me is power, just learning to believe in your own capabilities. I think it’s huge. As women, we discount ourselves a lot. We don’t think we’re good enough. We play small because society has programmed us to think small and be small as women. We have to realize as women, we are way more than that.

What makes you feel at peace? 

Just reminding myself, like I mentioned, the three things that I tell myself “I’m loved, I’m enough, and I am worthy.” The more I keep telling myself that, the more I’m at peace with myself. There are days that you’re not going to be 100% confident. You’ll have bad days. It’s life. Life is not a linear line. It’s a roller coaster. There are days where you’re up. There are days where you’re super down. You just got to remind yourself that things happen for a reason. It’s either a lesson or something else, something good can come out of it. We just have to remind ourselves that we have it in us to keep going to do what we want, to be what we want, to be the person that we are meant to be.

What makes you feel happy or what do you do for fun? 

I love hanging out with my friends and my family, spending time with my grandma. She lives around here. I like to work out, explore different areas, different places in the world, especially when it comes to hiking. It’s great to be with nature and to see the beauty in everything around us, learning about different cultures and what they do, finding different places to eat, and things like that. Those are some of the fun things I do.

Those are the things I like too, especially eating and trying new food. What are your top three goals in life? 

I haven’t thought that much about my top three goals. One of them is to help build more self-confident women out in the world, to build more tools and resources to help them do that, and to keep on being a better person each day.

What is next for you? 

It’s trying to create more tools and resources to help women out there build their self-confidence, building their power, building their self-worth, maybe travel a little bit more and spend more time with my grandma. That’s about it.

Have you worked with a mentor or coach before?

I haven’t worked with a coach before. I do have a set of friends that I turned to when I have problems, more like an accountability partner. We talk to each other on a weekly basis. If we have problems, I can go to them and ask them for advice and vice versa. We have brainstorming days. It can be about business. It can be about just personal stuff. I have my go-to set of people that I turn to when it comes to stuff like that.

Tao Of Self-Confidence: The decisions we make result in our actions and our destiny and what we’re meant to be.

It’s so important for people from different backgrounds, whether you are in business or not, it’s always good to have somebody that you can rely on, you can count on, just bounce idea and not judging you and see the best in you. That’s how you have more confidence so that you can grow. What are your top three advices for Asian women? 

Behind every successful woman is herself. Success is up to you to create it. We all have choices we make. The decisions we make result in our actions and our destiny and what we’re meant to be. Always know that you have it in you to create the success that you want. Be kinder to yourself. Especially as Asian women, we’re so hard on ourselves. I’m guilty of it. I used to be so hard on myself. I shame myself. I get mad at myself. You have to be a little bit kinder and love yourself. I don’t mean love the good parts of yourself but the good, the bad, the ugly, your flaws, your mistakes, strength, everything. The more you can love yourself for who you truly are, the good and the bad, the more people will accept you for who you are and love you back for the way you are. You can’t expect others to love you for who you are if it doesn’t start with you. Learn to truly love yourselves flaws and all.

That’s a wonderful advice for Asian women. I can totally relate to that. Love yourself, the good, the bad, and the ugly. That’s hard to love, especially the bad and the ugly ones. 

We’re all guilty of it and that’s why it takes work. The more work we do, the more you can accept yourself and love yourself. When you start loving yourself, then you can go up there and start doing the things that you want.

Is there anything else you want to share with our audience? 

I do have a podcast that I do five days a week. It’s called The Tao of Self-Confidence. I also interview women of Asian descent about their journey to self-confidence and how they’re able to overcome it and live the life that they want. I always wanted something like a show like this where I can turn to when I need that boost of confidence for the day. It’s short, about ten to fifteen minutes long. A lot of women have messaged me and told me how it’s helped them in their own journey of confidence. You can check that out on iTunes, Stitcher, or Google PlaySpotify. Check that out. Hit the subscribe button. There’s already about 500 episodes. Also, check out the website, TheTaoOfSelfConfidence.com, if you want to check out past episodes, tools, and resources to help you with your own journey. If you want to find me, my name is Sheena Yap Chan. You can just Google my name. I’m the only Sheena Yap Chan on the internet, which is a good thing.

I was a guest on that show too. That show is really wonderful. You will hear different perspectives about self-confidence from different walks of life and people of all ages. Congratulations to you for achieving 500 episodes. That is a huge accomplishment in my eyes. Thank you for being the leader in the podcast world, especially Asian women podcasters. Thank you for being here, Sheena.

I hope you’ve got a lot out of this interview. I sure did. I want you to remember this mantra, “I am loved, I am worthy and I am enough.” Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Love the good, the bad, and the ugly because you are a human being. Until next time, live life loud.

Links Mentioned:

Episode Quotes

"Fall down seven times, get back up eight times."

"I am loved, I am worthy, I am enough!"

"Everything takes practice."

About Sheena Yap Chan

Sheena Yap Chan is a blogger, podcaster, self confidence consultant, author and speaker whose sole purpose, drive and passion is to help build women’s self confidence from the ground up. She currently inspires women everyday through her podcast called The Tao of Self Confidence where she interviews various women about their inner journey to self confidence.

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